Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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