The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
