I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize