i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
