a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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