i already hear my dad disowning me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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