so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We smell like vodka and hangover
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