It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize