my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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