I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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