I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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