Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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