he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
