His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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