Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
