He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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