I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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