Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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