Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
