What tipped you off? The sombrero?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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