Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
