I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
