just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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