i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
