I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
