Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
