And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
