Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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