my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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