They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
