I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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