I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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