Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
