Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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