good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think your dad took our porno
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
