he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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