The best revenge is premature balding
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
