If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
try to milk me bitch
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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