I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
