SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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