is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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