So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
