I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
