remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
