At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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