i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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