I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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