It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
