We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
