I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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