Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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