We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize