wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
