According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
