Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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