Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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