your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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