Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
