I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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