I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
