They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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