his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize