what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
